Last week, I shared the first part of this series, discussing some of the key steps for conscious co-parenting. In part two, we continue with the final steps.

Conscious co-parenting after divorce is a child-centered process, where both you and your ex-spouse agree to work as cooperative partners for the sake of your kids. This ultimately helps both you and your children adapt in a healthier way.

Such collaboration can be challenging, but last week I offered three ways you can successfully navigate the process. Here  are three additional ways to make conscious co-parenting work for you:

 4. Respect your co-parent’s time with the children

Conscious co-parenting is about demonstrating to your children that you still want the other parent in their lives.

It’s normal to miss your children when they’re away, but it will be easier and healthier for everyone if you don’t do anything that might stop your kids from having an enjoyable time when they’re with the co-parent. This means not scheduling children’s activities during the co-parent’s time, unless you’ve asked them first. It also means respecting their time together by not constantly calling or texting.

 5. Get outside support

When it comes to divorce, the experience is often painful and unsettling. The underlying emotions can be overwhelming if they aren’t processed properly, which can have negative effects on your parenting skills.

Given this, it’s crucial you have support systems in place to move through this phase of life. There’s no single solution, so try a few different supportive outlets to find the one(s) that most suit you.

Whether it’s therapy, support groups, trusted confidants, and/or meditative solitude, you should take this opportunity to practice self-care. For better or worse, our personal identities are often largely centered around our marriages, so it’s perfectly natural to go through a grieving process when they end. Just don’t let the grief become what defines you.

6. Use conscious co-parenting to achieve personal growth
While it may sound paradoxical, divorce can offer a perfect opportunity for personal growth. The steps discussed here can help you adjust to your new life in divorce’s immediate aftermath, but they can also allow you to better express yourself throughout your life overall.

Consciously choosing a cooperative co-parenting relationship is just the beginning. You can bring the same mindful focus to every other area of your life. Treating your co-parent in a compassionate, respectful, and patient manner can provide the foundation for how you deal with all of life’s relationships and circumstances.

By doing this, you can serve as a role model for your children, demonstrating how they can deal with adversity in their own lives. In fact, conscious co-parenting can provide them with an array of vital skills that will strengthen their ability to endure the trials and tribulations they’re likely face in the future.

From custody agreements to alimony payments, there are numerous legal issues that can arise when co-parenting, so be sure you have the legal support you need. And given the fact that your family structure has changed, you’ll want to update your estate plan as well. Please contact us today if we can be of any assistance.

Dedicated to empowering your family, building your wealth and defining your legacy,

mother with son doing homework
It’s back-to-school time again, and when it comes to estate planning YOU may have homework to do. As a parent, your most critical—and often overlooked—task is to select and legally document guardians for your minor children. Guardians are people legally named to care for your children in the event of your death or incapacity.

If you haven’t done that yet, you should immediately do so – or come to one of our “Guardian Naming Workshops” and get it done there. Information on our next workshop can be found here.

Don’t think just because you’ve named godparents or have grandparents living nearby that’s enough. You must name guardians in a legal document, or risk creating conflict and a long, expensive court process for your loved ones—all of which can be so easily avoided.

Covering all your bases
However, naming permanent guardians is just one step in protecting your kids. It’s equally important to have someone (plus backups) with documented authority, who can stay with your children until the long-term guardians can be located and formally named by the court, which can take weeks or even months.

The last thing you want is for police to show up at your home and find your children with a caregiver, who doesn’t have documented or legal authority to stay with them and doesn’t have any idea how to contact someone with such authority. In such a case, police would have no choice but to call Child Protective Services.

Closing the gap
This is a major hole in many parent’s estate plans, as we know you’d never want your kids in the care of strangers, even for a short time. To fix this, we’ve created a comprehensive system called the Kids Protection Plan®, which lets you name temporary guardians who have immediate documented authority to care for your children until the long-term guardians you‘ve appointed can be notified and get to your children.

The Kids Protection Plan® also includes specific instructions that are given to everyone entrusted with your children’s care, explaining how to contact your short and long-term guardians. The plan also ensures everyone named by you has the legal documents they’d need on hand and knows exactly what to do if called upon. We even provide you with an ID card for your wallet and emergency instructions to post on your refrigerator, so the contacts and process are prominently available in case something happens to you.

A foolproof plan
With the Kids Protection Plan®, you’ll name one permanent guardian and one temporary guardian, along with two or more backups, in case the primary isn’t available or cannot serve. And we instruct caregivers to NEVER CALL POLICE IF YOU CANNOT BE REACHED UNTIL ONE OF THE NAMED GUARDIANS ARRIVES AND IS PRESENT WITH YOUR CHILDREN.

Finally, if there’s anyone you’d never want raising your children, we confidentially document that in the plan, preventing them from wasting the time, energy, and assets of the people you do want caring for your children.

With us as your personal family lawyer, you have access to the Kids Protection Plan® to ensure the well-being of your children no matter what. As your kids head back to school, do your homework by contacting us today.

Dedicated to empowering your family, building your wealth and defining your legacy,

child and woman 91024

 

 

 

 

 

 

Putting politics aside, I imagine every parent who has watched the news lately has been troubled over what’s happening to families at the US-Mexican border. As you likely know, more than 2,300 children have been separated from their parents at the border recently.

Again, regardless of your political views, I’m sure you don’t relish the thought of children being taken from their parents. What’s more, perhaps these events have got you thinking about how it would be for your children to be taken into the custody of strangers. And if not, let this be the moment you willingly feel that fear on a personal level and decide to ensure your child’s well-being and care by only the people you want no matter what happens.

It can happen to your family
Even though most people think that something like that could never happen to their family, they’re just plain wrong. While your kids almost certainly won’t be taken into custody by U.S. border agents, your children could be taken into the care of strangers if something happens to you—even if your family or friends are on the scene.

Understand the risk
While it may seem like a long shot, the consequences are serious enough that you must consider the real possibility of what could happen and ensure you’ve taken right actions to protect your loved ones. Let’s say you and your spouse have gone out to dinner together and left the kids with a babysitter. But on the way home, you’re in a car accident. The police will get to your house, find your children home with a babysitter, and have no choice but to take your kids into the care of the authorities (strangers) until they can figure out what to do.

This is the case even if you have friends or family living nearby. If you haven’t left proper legal documentation, the authorities may have no option but to call child protective services—that is, unless you’ve legally given them an alternative.

Know your options and your responsibility
The sad thing is, this all can be completely (and very easily) prevented. However, to ensure your children are never taken into the care of strangers you must take action now. Please do not leave this to chance. You have the right – and the responsibility – to guarantee your children are never taken into the care of strangers.

And if you think you’ve already done the right thing because you’ve “asked” someone to look after your children if something happens to you, or you have a will that names legal guardians for your children, think again. We’ve found that in most cases, even parents who worked with a lawyer to name legal guardians have made at least one of six common mistakes that leave their children at risk.

These mistakes are made because unfortunately, most lawyers do not know what’s necessary for planning and ensuring the well-being and care of minor children.

Here’s how to get started
If you’ve already created a will, we can help you identify whether you’ve made any of the six common mistakes that could leave your children at risk. If you have not yet taken any action, we can help you take the first steps and make the very best decisions for the people you love.

Whatever your situation, you should act now to make certain your children are never taken into the care of strangers. Call us and mention this article to receive a complimentary consultation.

Dedicated to empowering your family, building your wealth and defining your legacy,

Marc Garlett 91024

young-family 91024Deciding on a guardian for your minor children may very well be the most important decision you’ll make regarding your estate planning. Not only must you trust the appointed guardian to raise your children as you’d want them raised, but you also need that person to be financially responsible with your children’s inheritance. For example, if you have an IRA or an annuity that you wish to pass to your minor children, how can you ensure those funds will be used properly—especially if the person you trust most to raise your kids isn’t necessarily the best with finances?

This question is multifaceted, so let’s unravel one aspect at a time.

The Question of Guardianship

Here’s the good news: The person who raises your minor children and the person who handles their inheritance don’t have to be the same person. If necessary, you can appoint one guardian to serve each function, naming one as the guardian of the person and another as the guardian of the estate. In this arrangement, you entrust one person with your children’s assets and another with their care, while enabling each to interact with the other. This dual guardianship model gives many parents peace of mind—knowing they don’t necessarily have to risk their children’s inheritance while ensuring that they are raised according to the family’s values.

Although guardianship of the estate is an option, for many families the best strategy for financially providing for the children is to use a trust. In that case, a trustee fulfills the responsibility that would otherwise belong to the guardian of the estate. The trust assets can be released to the children or the caregiver incrementally according to age and needs. For example, the trustee could distribute money for the children’s needs until age 18 and then manage for the money until the child is a financially mature adult. Your trustee may also exercise discretion in investing and distributing the funds for the children’s support, education, etc., coordinating with their physical guardian to ensure the children’s needs are met until they come of age. This can ensure that the assets are there when they’re needed for your family.

Passing an Annuity to the Children

Annuities pay out regular income—which can make them convenient vehicles to cover ongoing expenses for minor children. If you have set up an annuity for yourself or a spouse, you can name the children as beneficiaries, or you can also name a trust for the benefit of your children. If you are still paying into the annuity at the time of death, your children may receive the balance, or you may give a trustee the option of rolling the balance into another annuity to be paid out to the children at a later maturity date. If you are already receiving annuity payments yourself, the children may simply continue receiving these payments for the remainder of the term. Depending on your annuity contract, payouts may also be made lump sum. Annuities are a very flexible financial product with many different options. If you have annuity now, or if you are considering purchasing one, bring it up with us as we work on your estate plan so we can make sure it meshes with your will or trust seamlessly.

Transferring an IRA to the Children

Individual Retirement Accounts (IRAs) are also excellent vehicles to pass along wealth for minor children’s welfare—because, unlike most annuities, they have the ability to grow over time and can provide a lifetime of financial benefit to your children.

When you name the next generation as beneficiaries on an IRA, you effectively extend the IRA’s life expectancy. While the required minimum distribution payments to the children will be smaller than they would have been for you (since, according to the IRS’s rules, they have a longer life expectancy), the account balance can remain invested for growth over time. Your financial and tax advisor can evaluate your situation to help you decide which type of IRA (Roth or traditional) is the best option for your goals. And we can work with you to set up a trust which fully protects your IRA against your child’s creditors, predators, future ex-spouses, and immature financial decision making.

Planning for the welfare of minor children after your death is neither simple nor pleasant to consider, but it’s absolutely necessary for peace of mind. Determining the right person(s) to be the guardian of your children requires careful thought, but you don’t have to sacrifice your children’s inheritance for their proper care. With the right financial plan, you can manage both facets successfully. As always, we’re here to provide assistance and explain your options. Call our offices for an appointment today.

Dedicated to building your wealth, empowering your family and securing your legacy,

Marc Garlett 91024

newborn baby 91024Estate planning is often one item that gets pushed back on nearly everyone’s to-do list. The reasons you might be delaying vary: lack of time, not thinking you have enough assets, not knowing how to start, or the uncomfortableness of contemplating death. Whatever the reason for not putting an estate plan together, it is important to understand that if you just had a baby – there is no better time to meet with an estate planning attorney to implement a plan.

In general terms, an estate plan is a set of legal documents that outline your wishes on how your assets should be distributed and who is responsible for your dependents, in the event of your death or legal incapacity. An estate plan should be developed with a qualified estate planning attorney to ensure that it will work as intended and fully protect your family.  Here’s how an estate plan can you protect the newest addition to your family.

Protect Your Children

Perhaps to top reason to put together an estate plan is to dictate who will care for your children in the event you and your spouse die early or become legally incapacitated and therefore unable to care for your kids yourselves. Your estate plan can designate someone you trust and who shares your values as a guardian of your minor children – this is the person who will essentially be a surrogate parent and raise the children through adulthood. When selecting a guardian, it is important to choose people who will be willing participants in your estate plan, who share your values and parenting philosophy, and who you trust to raise your children.

Distribute Your “Stuff”

While some assets have purely financial value, others have deep emotional attachments. Not only will a trust-based estate plan eliminate the probate process, but it will save your heirs stress, time, and money. As you may already know, probate is the court-supervised process of wrapping up a deceased person’s affairs. This consists of multiple steps, including presenting a deceased’s last will and testament (if they had one – otherwise the probate court uses the government’s default plan known as intestacy), gathering assets, paying off debts, and distributing what’s left over to the deceased’s heirs. Using a trust to provide specific instructions on distribution of assets not only avoids probate altogether but it can help ward off fights among surviving relatives, too. Additionally, special features in your trust, sometimes called lifetime asset protection trusts, also allow you provide long-term financial stability and support for your children. These types of trusts can prevent a financially immature heir from blowing their inheritance.

Provide for Your Loved Ones

Beyond your children, creating an estate plan will inform your loved ones what final health care decisions should be made on your behalf in the event you become incapacitated and are unable to make decisions. Serving as healthcare proxy is an enormous responsibility for the person you name, but you can help lessen the burden by communicating your wishes about medical decisions. One significant advantage of properly planning is that your intentions can be clearly stated so that your surviving family members do not have to guess what your desires are.

Find an Estate Planning Attorney

If you have experienced a recent life-event – such as a new baby, a work promotion, purchasing a home, moving to a new state, or any other milestone – you should discuss your situation with a trusted estate planning lawyer. If you already have a will or trust in place, those life events make it necessary to update it to ensure it fully provides for your family and loved ones. To learn how estate planning can protect you, your newborn, and the rest of your family, contact us today.

Dedicated to building your wealth, empowering your family and securing your legacy,

Marc Garlett 91024

Modern-Family-91024A comprehensive estate plan can protect the things that matter most. For many, this means their property and their family.

Including provisions for the care of your children in your estate plan is essential for peace of mind. But many parents struggle with including provisions such as naming a legal guardian for their child. Indeed, even the fictional parents in the popular television sitcom Modern Family struggled with this issue in a recent episode. While Jay and his new and much younger wife Gloria agonized and argued about who they should name as a legal guardian for their children, their children were left at risk that if something happened before they decided and properly named guardians in a legal document, a judge would make the decision for them. Not ideal, under any circumstances.

When naming a legal guardian for your minor children, there are many factors to consider, such as whether the guardian has similar values to yours or can provide a welcoming home environment. But the toughest decisions are often the most important. Consider the outcome if you died without having legal protections for your children in place. Your children could be subject to conflict between relatives or they could be raised by someone you would never want, or in a way you wouldn’t want.  They could even temporarily be taken into the care of strangers.

Identifying and naming a legal guardian for your children in your estate plan is both a difficult and important task. Don’t put off naming a legal guardian for your child. While thinking about what will happen to your child if you die is difficult even for fictional parents, your kids deserve the protection and you deserve the peace of mind that a legal guardian provides.

Unfortunately, even if you have made the hard decisions, and even if you have worked with a lawyer to name legal guardians in a Will, your kids could still be at risk, because that type of plan would not take into account what happens if you become incapacitated, or if your named guardians all live far from your home, and it wouldn’t protect against anyone who may challenge your decisions. The only way to ensure your kids are raised by the people you want, in the way you want, never taken into the care of strangers (even temporarily) and that your kids would never be raised by anyone you wouldn’t want, is by creating a comprehensive Kids Protection Plan, which very few lawyers are trained to prepare.

If you are ready to take that step, start by sitting down with us. We can walk you step by step through creating a comprehensive Kids Protection Plan® that not only names a legal guardian for your child in your Will, but also ensures your kids are fully provided for, in the short-term and the long-term, and in the event of your incapacity.

Our number one goal is to ensure your entire family is protected and cared for no matter what. That’s why estate planning should be about more than just documents. It should be about ensuring you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourselves and the people you love.  The right estate planning counsel will help you get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before, and make all the best choices for your family throughout your lifetime. And there’s nothing better than that.

Dedicated to empowering your family, increasing your wealth and building your legacy,
Marc Garlett 91024

young-family 91024Young families face different estate planning needs and challenges than those who have had a long life behind them. While established families may be concerned about what will happen to their family when they pass on, young, growing families can be more focused on what is happening to their family in the present. And you may even find it hard to justify planning for an “estate” you haven’t yet established!

But here’s the thing … if you have children or anyone else you care about, you may not have an “estate”, but you do need estate planning – if you want to ensure your loved ones wouldn’t be stuck in Court and/or conflict if anything happens to you.

Here are a few estate-planning issues important for young couples to consider as soon as they start a family:

The Care and Custody of Your Children

If you die or become incapacitated before your children reach 18, they will need a legal guardian. To ensure your children are only ever in the care of people you want and choose, you must name both temporary and long-term guardians for your children.

Identifying friends or family as the “godparent” of your child won’t cover it. You need to legally document your choice. And, naming just one person or a couple isn’t enough, either. Name at least 3 options, in case back-ups are needed.

Also, ensure that you have not just named legal guardians in your Will. This is a common mistake for those that do have planning.

If something happens to you and your child is home with a babysitter, or at school, you want to also name local people, friends or family, who would immediately be able to be called upon by authorities. And, those people need to have legal documentation on hand to step in and make immediate, short-term decisions for your littles.

We recommend a comprehensive Kids Protection Plan® to ensure there are no gaps, even for a minute, in the care of the people you love most.

The Management of Your Children’s Inheritance

Remember, when you die, the assets left to your minor children will need to be managed by someone at least until they turn eighteen. If no one is identified for this task, the court steps in and appoints “professionals” to take over the role, which can cost your children their entire inheritance.

And, it’s totally unnecessary. With just a bit of prior planning, you can keep your loved ones out of the Court system entirely and give total control to the people you know, love and trust.

The Authority to Make Decisions for You

Finally, no matter what your age is, or how big or small your assets are, you want to put in place the documentation that appoints the people you would want making decisions for you, if you cannot make your own decisions.

Once again, the focus here is on keeping the people you love out of Court during what would be a hugely stressful time for them.

Estate planning is a key part of growing up and showing up for the people you love. So, yes, you may be a young family, but once you’ve become a family, you’re not too young to plan well to make things as easy as possible for the people you love.

Far from being a morbid task, estate planning can give your young family the peace of mind, confidence, and security you desire when it comes to the future well-being of all members of your family.

Dedicated to empowering your family, increasing your wealth and building your legacy,
Marc Garlett 91024

Kids Protection 91024Does your estate plan name permanent guardians for your minor children? It absolutely must, and most plans do. But how about temporary guardians? And does your plan include medical powers of attorney for your kids? What about instructions and guidelines for your guardians (both permanent and temporary)? Do you carry a card in your wallet stating you have minor children and identifying your temporary guardians in case of emergency?

Naming and legally documenting temporary guardians will prevent your kids from ever being put into the arms of strangers, even for a moment. But without temporary guardians in place, there’s a very real possibility your kids could be handed over to foster care until a judge orders the children into the custody of the permanent guardians. Even if that’s only for a day or two, that’s far too long.

Without a medical power of attorney for your children they may not receive the medical care you would want them to have if you are not with them when they need it.

Providing instructions and guidelines to guardians is one of the best way to ensure your children will be raised with your values, learn about your story, benefit from your wisdom, and continue to feel your love even if you are not able to be physically present for them.

When you go to bed at night, do you lock the front door but leave the back door wide open? Your estate plan shouldn’t do that either, especially where your kids are concerned. Yet most estate plans simply slap in a quick paragraph about permanent guardians but fail to address the myriad of other issues those of us with young children need to be concerned about.

You see, traditional estate planning focuses on the elderly. And if you have a traditional estate plan, it is most likely n incomplete and less than comprehensive if you also have minor children at home. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Taking care of my kids the way they deserve to be taken care of is what got me into estate planning in the first place. And I love empowering other parents to take care of their kids, too. Let me know if you have any questions.

To your family’s health, wealth, and happiness,
Marc Garlett 91024

Kids Protection 91024If you have young children, chances are your summer activities include some careful planning to keep them safe from harm. Unfortunately, even with proper precautions in place, accidents do happen – and not just to children. Have you planned for what would happen to your children if you were the one involved in a tragic accident?

If you don’t put the proper legal protections in place and the unthinkable happens to you, any number of things could happen to your children, and none of them are good:

  • Your children could be put in the care of Child Protective Services. You never want strangers determining your children’s fate, even temporarily.
  • Your children could be put in the custody of someone you would never want to have control over them by a judge who does not know anything about you or your family dynamics.
  • Your family could get into a fight over the custody of your children (and control of any assets you leave your children).
  • Your estate can be thrown into probate, with a large portion of your assets going to court costs and legal fees — money that your children could have used in the future.
  • Whatever is left over would go to your children as soon as they turn 18, in one lump sum they will likely not be prepared to handle properly.
  • Your children’s inheritance would be a matter of public record, putting every predator and scam artist on notice with details about the assets being transferred along with access to your children’s personal information.

Since there are so many bad things that can happen to your children should something bad happen to you, we have developed the Kids Protection Plan® for families with young children. This plan includes a comprehensive set of instructions and legal documents that will ensure your kids will be raised by someone of your choosing and that your assets are protected for their well-being.

To get started ensuring your kids will always be protected, call our office today to schedule an appointment for a complimentary Family Estate Planning Session to identify the best ways for you to provide a legacy of love and financial security for your family, no matter what.

All the best to you and your family,
Signature - Marc

father hugging sonIf you have minor children and have not yet named guardians, you are not unlike many other parents who put off this critically important task.

Perhaps you’re not quite sure how to go about naming guardians. Perhaps you just haven’t made the time to name guardians yet. Or perhaps you and your spouse/partner cannot agree on who would be the ideal guardian for your kids.

Here is your solution: Done is better than perfect. Especially for this.

If you do nothing, you are in fact doing something. You are leaving the decision about who would raise your children (if something were to happen to you) up to a judge. A judge who doesn’t know you or what’s important to you, and doesn’t know or love your children will make all the decisions about who cares for them.

Your kids are the most important people to you in the world and I know that’s not what you want.

The truth is … there may never be a perfect solution for you, but there is definitely a better solution than giving a total stranger the power to make the decision about who will raise your children.

Some parents prefer to ignore the possibility their kids may need guardians, hoping that will never happen to them.

So do those same parents forgo things like insurance, seatbelts, or other types of protection for themselves and their children? I don’t know. But I do know…

Responsible parents protect their children.

To protect their children, responsible parents must think about the unthinkable. Fortunately, there is a sensible approach to the selection of guardians that makes it a lot easier to do so.

First, sit down with your spouse or significant other and draw up a list of all potential people you would be willing to have raise your children.

Don’t judge anyone on the list or even consider whether or not they might be willing. Just make as long a list as you can of all the people you know, like and trust that your children know, like and trust. It may be helpful if each parenting partner makes a list separately and then compares them later.

Then – and this is important – put your list(s) aside.

Now, make a list of your most important values when it comes to raising your children. Things like a prior relationship with your children, education level, discipline, philosophy, or parenting style.

Under no circumstances should you consider the financial resources of the people you are contemplating because it’s up to you to provide the financial resources for your children, not the people you’ve named as their guardians.

Next, rank your values and compare those values to your list of potential guardians and put each of those people (or couples) in order first, second, third and so on.

Once you have your list, check it against these practical considerations:

How well does your child know them? Ideally, your selected guardians will be people your child already trusts and has a close relationship with.

Do they live close by? It is probably not ideal to uproot your children from their local community during an already stressful time if you can help it.

Do they share your values? You will want to choose someone who can raise your children with the same values and beliefs that you would.

How old are they? Choosing an elderly person as guardian could mean that your children could lose them at a tender age, too.

Do they already have a family? If your choice as guardian already has children of their own, would your children blend in well with their family, or feel like the odd-kids-out?

Are they willing to take on the responsibility? Hopefully those you choose as guardian would welcome the responsibility, but not everyone does. Be sure you have a candid conversation with them before you finalize your list.

Finally, document your choices, legally and clearly. We have a proven process for comprehensive Kids Protection Planning for your children that covers not just the long-term care of your children, but the immediate term as well, gives instructions to your guardians and caregivers, and puts an ID card in your wallet so your children will never be left in the care of strangers, not even for a moment.

Keep in mind that your choice for guardian today could change, and you will likely want to update your guardianship designation throughout your life as circumstances change.

Make 2014 the year you put the proper protections in place for your family by calling our office to schedule a time for us to sit down and talk. We normally charge $750 for a Family Wealth Planning Session, but because this planning is so important, I’ve made space for the next two people who mention this article to have a complete planning session at no charge. Call today and mention this article.